Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
