It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
