there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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