Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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