Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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