I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
