i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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