HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
