did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
