i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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