Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?