$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.