Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
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she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
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She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos