Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!