How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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