i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
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and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
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You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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