Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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