im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You are a booty call, not a friend.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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