I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You took a bar mat shot.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
