North Korea, Best Korea!
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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