Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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