and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
