What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Randomize
