friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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