Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I fill condoms, not promises.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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