no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I need to sanitize my soul.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
