Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
