We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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