It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize