She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize