Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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