so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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