I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
