There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
