Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize