oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Randomize
