he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
