Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
