you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
