Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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