Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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