So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
