Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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