Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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