That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
