he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
