Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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