Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
