I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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