my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize