i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
