i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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