Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
