My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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