so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
