Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
