can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
