Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
