I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
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