toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize