And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I want her autograph on my taint
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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