im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
