And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
