everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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