Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
