69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
