that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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