Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Randomize
