yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Randomize
